Life of Kai
January 3, 2000

Ah yes.  Cool rain is pattering about outside of my window.  A warm
laptop warms the top of my lap.  Time to throw on some nice Cuban
music, pour a tasty sweet winter beer, and type up the next Life of
Kai.

The first question on your mind, of course, is what I'm doing with a
beer, a laptop, and CDs on top of a mountain in Nepal!  Well, you see,
I haven't left the states yet.  But wait!  Don't scoff and run off
just yet!  There are tales to tell.

Let me tell you of the life of the professional slacker and traveler.
You see, there is a pattern to the process of slack among the set I
observe.  After years of research on hackers, artists, friends and
freaks who have made the big move I have put together the "Phases of
Slack".  When one tries to circumvent the phases they will surely find
themselves a giant immobile ball of stress and, worse yet, contemplate
diving right back into the safety of the job they just left without
the beautiful holistic view of life that slack can offer.

So please, read the following details carefully.  If you're ready for
the big step and need more information, well, yeah, more info on the
website to follow!


Phases of Slack as documented by Kai G. Mantsch, Observer and
Slackmeister in Training

- Leave work.
- Not as easy as it sounds, and requires a bit of saving to boot.  For
  you Americans, NO CREDIT=NO DEBT.  That means NO CAR PAYMENTS.  NO
  HOUSE PAYMENTS.  Really.  No, really.

- Breathe a sigh of relief
- OK, now you are there.  Be patient, all of these steps really are
  very important and can not be skipped.

- Sleep
- The first stage of slack requires several weeks of sleeping off the
  monster amounts of work that have been done in the years just prior.
  Video movies and comic books are acceptable during the few waking
  hours.

- Party
- Stage 2 is all about the party.  Staying up late and out in the
  pubs, dancing, frolicking, meeting people, seeing all the people you
  didn't have time for while working-- it's all a festival of life.

- Create
- Now that the Party stage has been bouncing on for a while, requiring
  little brainpower, that old gray machine starts to spin back to life
  and demand more work.  Suddenly the slacker must return to all of
  the creative and artistic hobbies from the pre-work days.  Painting,
  drawing, writing, music, and even games of Tetris recreated with the
  3D Doom engine pour from the once stagnant pools of gray cells.

- Flee
- At last, the brain happy and the body relaxed, the slacker is ready
  for the "big move".  At this point there is a bit of a split between
  slackers.  The fundamental need is for massive change.  Some will
  simply move to San Francisco or New York, others take this stage to
  the extreme and begin travelling through South America, Africa,
  Europe or Asia for periods sometimes exceeding several years.

- Work
- Now, for those who have moved to San Francisco and New York, it is
  time to support the expensive condo.  Work is next in line.  For
  most, this involves finding a job at a tiny startup, with some
  thought of continuing their free time and newly discovered lives.
  This will, of course, ultimately end in failure and a return to the
  manic, stress-driving life they had in their previous place of
  employment, which was most likely a startup company anyway.  Most
  will not notice that this has occurred and will believe themselves
  to still be in complete control for up to two years.  At this point
  they will begin to consider a return to step 1.

- Traveling slackers will follow a slightly different path.  They have
  now spent years in a lifestyle completely dictated by themselves.
  Many have philosophical and political beliefs that distance them
  even further from society and make them even less willing to work
  for "the Man".  These scrappy characters will find themselves
  scrounging for fun and artistic work that will be just enough to
  keep them in the minimalist lifestyles they have already created for
  themselves in the past years.  Sadly, many of these poor souls will
  become philosophers and ramblers of the sort one is likely to try to
  avoid at cocktail parties.  That's what comes of having time to
  think.

--

So of course the next question that must be asked is, "what does this
have to do with not being in Nepal or Thailand?"  Well, you see, I was
in such a huge rush to get to Goa, India for New Years that I tried to
skip all of the steps prior and rush off to the "Flee" stage.  Bad
idea.  I very quickly learned that I was going to burn myself out
trying to rush around so quickly and, quite frankly, I just hadn't had
enough time to see all of the friends I had had to blow off while
working.  Of course, once I realized that I was going to take some
more time anyway, I found these stages creeping up on me.  I hit the
point where I just wanted to lie in the hammock and sleep.  Then I
wanted to get around and see everyone and dance and hang out.  I am
just now tipping into the "Create" phase and have begun sucking up
books and creative opportunities like a man who's found a slurpee in
the desert.  Life is good.  Things are moving at their pace.

Of course what one discovers is that when one has time, one is at home
when opportunity comes knocking.  So far I've finagled a free trip to
Puerto Rico, built a spaceship and an 8-foot high Lite-Brite, driven
22 hours to Chicago and back, and spent 24 hours trying to create a 24
page comic book. Now it looks like I have two potential snowboarding
trips, a film to work on, a ticket to Sundance film festival, and
someone who wants help grinding a mirror for a telescope.  I'm also
signing up for a welding/sculpture class and, potentially, jazz
singing lessons.

You are probably wondering when I am going to offer up details on the
many snippets I've listed above.  How about in the next Life of Kai,
so this one gets out the door!

So take it easy.  Enjoy the snow.  Smell the cedar pollen.  Sing at
random.  Taste the little bits of life that you may, one day, feast on
again.

Love to all,
Kai